Tag Archive | 9/11

Craigslist Missed Connections: For you…my YOU (w4m)

R– This is 4 U. Maybe the right “r” maybe wrong… Anyways…all good things to you, always. M NOT MICHELLE     NOT MARIA NOT MARIA            NOT MARGARET NOT MELISSA        NOT MARGUERITE Dear MARIA (I’ll get to this in a moment), My parents always taught me to act grateful when I receive a gift, even if I […]

Rudy Giuliani On Possible Governorship: “9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11”

NEW YORK– Rudy Giuliani will not run for governor, despite recent rumors to the contrary. “9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11,” said the former New York City mayor. There have also been rumors that Giuliani might make a possible run for Senator, but Giuliani quelled those rumors as well, telling reporters, “9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11.” […]

9 Nebraska Shoppers Die While Fighting Terrorism

OMAHA, NEBRASKA– Nine residents of Omaha, Nebraska were murdered last Wednesday while performing their patriotic duties as American citizens: they were shopping. At 1:47 PM, nineteen-year-old Robert A. Hawkins entered the Westroads Mall and opened fire with an SKS assault rifle, killing nine people and injuring two others. Paul Velman was one of Hawkins’ victims. […]