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Obscure Lives Matter

soap star

In his speech at the RNC, a delusional Antonio Sabato Jr. said, “I don’t care if Hollywood rejects me for supporting Donald Trump.”

Soap operas are not Hollywood, and Antonio Sabato Jr. was on a soap opera twenty years ago, which was probably before he even knew whether he was a Republican or a Democrat. So, no, Antonio. There is no left wing conspiracy against you. Hollywood is no different than the rest of America in that they don’t know that you exist. This would be similar to me claiming that Jessica Alba refuses to have sex with me because my penis is too big. The truth is much simpler than that. Jessica Alba does not know that I exist. If she did, things might be different. And by “different ” I’m referring to the fact that she would give me the herpes that she got from Derek Jeter. And it would be worth it.

But I digress.

James Woods, Bruce Willis, and Clint Eastwood are all Republicans, so Sabato (which I just decided is Spanish for “not only a has been but a never was”) needs to go take his medication and stop playing the victim card.

July 21, 2016


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