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Black Kid On Train: “Shit Yo Shit Son Mad Shit Mad Son Shit Yo Shit Son Shit Shit Mad Shit”

 

NEW YORK CITY– Stock prices plummeted yesterday to their lowest point since January 2015 after a black kid on the Brooklyn bound F train said, “Shit yo shit son mad shit mad son shit yo shit son shit shit mad shit.” The black kid’s reflections come just five days after a failed military coup in Turkey, and seven days after a terrorist attack killed 82 people in Nice, France.

NRA (National Rifle Association) president Wayne LaPierre said that the black kid’s comments are the “type of remarks that penalize responsible, law abiding gun owners.”

In Los Angeles, rapper Kanye West interrupted the People’s Choice Awards to express his support for the black kid’s comments, but in Kansas, the Westboro Baptist Church plans on picketing a random funeral to express their outrage over the young man’s remarks.

Evangelicals aren’t the only ones upset by the black kid’s views. Environmental activist and 350.org founder Bill McKibben said, “At a time in which human beings are pumping more CO2 into the atmosphere than at any time in our planet’s history, this kid might have single handedly set back the environmental movement by twenty years.”

President Obama urged Americans to remain calm in the wake of the black kid’s comments, saying, “Folks need to realize that while there is a lot of pain in our communities, the spirit of the American people cannot be broken.” House Speaker Paul Ryan called the president’s remarks “reckless,” saying, “What that black kid on the train was trying to express was the frustration of eight years of failed policies of this administration.”

At a campaign event in Nebraska, Hillary Clinton said that she takes the black kids opinions “seriously,” and hopes that his statement “can start a meaningful dialogue between the Israelis and the Palestinians.”

Meanwhile, Donald Trump told reporters, “No one speaks ghetto gibberish better than I do.”

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