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Missed Connections 1

Psychology Section at Barnes and Noble–m4w (Union Square)

We talked about CBT and you go to Hunter like me. Write back if you see this! I showed you a web site to use and we discussed your Russian heritage and my computer programming projects. You seemed fun and open minded. I had asked you to join me for coffee.

 

(To be read out loud in a Russian accent)

 

   Da. I read your Craigslist post. Remind again what this CBT is you speak of. And what is this–how do you say–“fun?” In my country there is no such thing. It is minus thirty degrees in winter. Icicles hang from Vladimir Putin’s testicles. That is why he is such son of bitch. As for coffee, to quote your movie star Matt Damon in movie Good Will Hunting, “Maybe we can just get together and eat a bunch of caramels.” Matt Damon came to Moscow to film Bourne Surpremacy. He was sexy, but now is fat. Too many caramels. Ha ha! That was joke. We don’t have many jokes in Mother Russia. Fear of former KGB still quite real. Because of this, when we come to USA, we live life to fullest. So let’s not waste time with coffee. Let us drink vodka and have sex on Brighton Beach. It will be nice as long as we don’t get cut by broken bottles in sand.

 

                                                                                                    –Natasha
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