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Woman Who Has Never Read A Book Writes A Book


WASILLA, ALASKA– Surprising both her critics and supporters alike, Sarah Palin has completed her autobiography, a stunning feat for a woman who can barely read. Co-written with a “collaborator” by the name of Lynn Vincent, “Going Rogue: An American Life” is set to hit stores on November 17. The book is four-hundred pages, prompting the former Alaska governor to say that she “just kept writin’ and writin’ and writin.'” “After a while,” she told reporters, “I was like, ‘Wowzer! This darn thing’s not gonna end.'” She then added, “It’s so thick that when I stand on top of it I can see Jupiter.”

When her publisher informed her that one and a half million copies of the book will be printed in the first printing, Palin responded by saying, “Golly jee. That sure is a lot of paper. One and a half million books times four-hundred pages is, what, seven-hundred-twenty-thousand pages? They’re gonna have to get out the good ole buzz-saw and start choppin’ down a buncha trees.” That’s not to say that Palin is concerned about such a thing. She told reporters, “Without all these darn trees in the way, it’ll be a heck of a lot easier to shoot wolves from a helicopter.”



October 1, 2009


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