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Ann Coulter Gets Arrested For Eating Pussy While Having An Abortion At A War Protest

 

CINCINNATI– In an impressive display of both hypocrisy and multi-tasking, outspoken right-wing political pundit Ann Coulter was arrested for eating pussy at a war protest while having an abortion. Coulter, who on Monday called presidential candidate John Edwards a “faggot,” had been holding a sign that read “Stop The Bush Crime Family” while performing cunnilingus on a fellow protester. That protester’s identity was not revealed, but several witnesses have claimed that it was Marie Cheney, daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney. Meanwhile, at the same time that Coulter was protesting and performing cunnilingus, she was also having an abortion, leaving several protesters confused and disgusted. One of those protesters was Lindsay Teed, 24, of New York City who said, “I believe in a woman’s right to choose, but was it really necessary to have an abortion in front of thousands of people?” Claire Bailey, another protester, agreed with Teed, saying, “There’s a time and a place to get an abortion. We were there to express our discontent with our country’s illegal occupation of Iraq. We weren’t there to get an abortion or to have oral sex.”

Coulter was arrested for public nudity, as well as sodomy, which is illegal in Ohio. Eddie Heegan, the man who administered the abortion, was arrested for practicing medicine without a license. “This is ridiculous,” said Heegan. “Yes, I’m a firefighter and not a doctor, but I believe in helping others.”

As Coulter was being lead into the police car, she was heard saying, “Wait, Officer. Can you take off the handcuffs for one second? I just want to quickly write out a check to give to a poor, black welfare recipient.” Her request was denied.

 

 

March 25, 2007

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