REDMOND, WA– According to their neighbors, Bob and Sarah Kullman, “Do you like that,” and “Do you like it when I fuck you like that” are just two of many rhetorical questions that Steve and Lisa Limsky ask each other during sex. The Kullman’s, who have been living in the apartment next door to the Limsky’s for about a year, report that the Limsky’s have sex at least three times a week. “Understand that we’re not being nosy,” said Bob Kullman. “It just so happens that we can’t avoid hearing it.” He added, “And it wouldn’t even be worth mentioning if it weren’t for the fact that they ask all those stupid, rhetorical questions. I mean, who does that?” Kullman said that not only will one of the Limsky’s ask questions during sex, but the other person will answer the question. “For example,” said Kullman, “Steve will ask, ‘Do you like it when I fuck you like that?’ And then Lisa will answer, ‘Oh, I love it when you fuck me like that.’ Now, you would think that after the first couple of times that they had sex, by then, they would already know the answers to those questions. But they have to keep on asking, time after time.” “It’s true,” said Sarah Kullman. “It’s as if they’re being interviewed by Larry King.”
The Kullman’s also enjoy a healthy sex life, but they don’t bother to ask questions. “If I’m going to ask a question, it’s going to be about something that I have no knowledge of,” said Bob. “For example, I would want to know what the capital of Uruguay is, or what’s the most effective way of removing a stain from a necktie. I would not, however, ask these questions during sex.” “If he were to ask me those questions during sex,” said Sarah, “I would hand him divorce papers.”
Steve and Lisa Limsky were too busy fucking to comment.
January 14, 2005