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Area Man Has Mixed Feelings About Being A Motherfucker

 

TUSCON, AZ– Robert Blackwell recently had sex with Regina Vanderwitz, a single, divorced mother of two. Technically, this makes Blackwell a motherfucker, and the 32-year-old Arizona native has mixed feelings about this. “I enjoyed fucking her,” said Blackwell, “but there’s something about the term ‘motherfucker’ that doesn’t sit well with me.” He added, “I never really thought about it until now, but what’s wrong with being a motherfucker? Mothers need dick too.”

Sociolinguist Alan Treacy believes that the word “motherfucker” is deemed derogatory because, “All across the world, mothers are viewed as being wholesome.” But Blackwell disagrees with Treacy, saying, “That’s all well and good. Mothers are wholesome. Fine. My question is what’s so non-wholesome about fucking one of them? Is sex wrong? I mean, technically, all fathers are motherfuckers.”

To further add to Blackwell’s confusion, on Tuesday, an irate motorist referred to Blackwell as a “motherfucker” after Blackwell cut him off on the highway. “I wonder how he knew that I fucked Regina Vanderwitz, a mother of two from Tuscon, Arizona,” said Blackwell. Blackwell also wonders if the irate motorist would still have called him a motherfucker if he hadn’t fucked Vanderwitz. “He might have just called me a son of a bitch,” said Blackwell, “although my mother is not, by any means, a bitch.”

 

 

July 28, 2005

                                                          

 

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