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Ted Kennedy Not Expected To Sign With Red Sox; Brain Cancer & Not Being Able To Throw The Ball Likely Causes

BOSTON– Despite the fact that he threw out the first pitch on Opening Day, seventy-seven-year-old Ted Kennedy is not likely to sign with the Boston Red Sox, according to sources close to the Massachusetts Senator. Kennedy, who was diagnosed last May with a malignant brain tumor, threw out the ceremonial first pitch in Boston’s Fenway Park on Tuesday to Red Sox Hall Of Famer Jim Rice. Rice, who played with the Red Sox back in the 1970’s and 1980’s, was only standing about ten feet away from the ailing Senator who, on his first attempt, bounced the ball in front of Rice. Kennedy insisted that he try again, and on his second attempt, Rice caught it. Even so, the fact that it took Kennedy two tries to throw the ball a mere ten feet made Red Sox manager Terry Francona question whether or not he would have a place on the 2010 roster. “Even if he were to play first base, it’s important that he develop his throwing arm,” said Francona. “However, with the proper amount of physical conditioning, he might be able to do just that. Right now, I’m not completely ruling anything out.”

Some people who are “ruling it out” are Kennedy’s potential teammates. “With all due respect, Senator Kennedy needs to realize that he’s seventy-seven, not twenty-seven,” said Red Sox left fielder Jason Bay. “And besides, he has brain cancer, and with the exception of John Rocker, the league doesn’t allow players with brain damage to suit up.” Third baseman Mike Lowell agrees with Bay, and added that Kennedy “has his troubles at the plate as well.” One hour before the game, Kennedy took part in batting practice with the team and, surprisingly, he hit six balls over the Green Monster, Fenway Park’s left field wall. But despite such an impressive display of athleticism, Kennedy failed to make contact with the ball even once when he was thrown curveballs. In spite of this obstacle, Kennedy remains determined. “Right now, my two biggest goals are to help pass a universal health care bill, and to beat brain cancer,” he said. “After I get those two things out of the way, I’ll focus more on learning how to hit the curve ball.”



April 8, 2009


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