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Instead Of Developing Superpowers, Steve Irwin Dies After Being Stung By Sting-Ray


BROOKLYN– Steve Irwin (aka “The Crocodile Hunter”) died after being stung in the heart by a sting-ray. Irwin, who had stirred up quite a bit of controversy back in 2004 when he held his infant son a few feet away from a crocodile, did not expect to die from the sting-ray. Rather, he thought that being stung would give him superpowers. “Knowing that Peter Parker got bit by a spider and turned into Spider Man, Steve was under the impression that if he got stung by a sting-ray, he would turn into a superhero named Sting-Ray Man,” said his wife, Terri. She added, “Steve wanted to be able to sting villains just by touching them, and he wanted to be able to hold his breath under water indefinitely. Neither of those things happened. Instead, he simply died.”

Word of Irwin’s death triggered a profound sense of grief around the world. Rock star Sting (who also does not possess superpowers) decided to cancel the rest of his concert dates. “There’s no way that I could possibly perform during a time of such extraordinary sadness,” he said.  Irwin was 44.



October 16, 2006


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