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Cyclops With Chops Drops Two Cops

SEATTLE– Morgan Millgram, a 32 year-old cyclops from Seattle, Washington, hit two cops in the head yesterday with a steel pipe, knocking them unconscious. Millgram, who had been pulled over by the cops for driving with a broken taillight, got out of his 2005 Toyota Camry and delivered two quick blows to the cops’ heads. He then got back into his car and drove approximately four miles before being pulled over again, this time by a cop who answered a distress call. “I had received word over my scanner that the suspect had assaulted the two officers,” said Officer Lawrence O’Talloran, “so I drew my gun.” Fortunately, O’Talloran wasn’t forced to fire on Millgram, who slowly got out of his car with his hands up. O’Talloran promptly arrested him. Millgram insists that he was being discriminated against when he was pulled over for the broken taillight. “Make no mistake about it. I was pulled over for one reason and one reason only. And that reason is that I’m a cyclops.” “I doubt that that’s true,” said O’Talloran. “Either way, that’s no reason to do what he did.”

Millgram was brought up on charges of assault with a deadly weapon. If convicted, he will face up to ten years in prison.



March 30, 2007


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