EARTH– Following a breakdown in diplomacy between the United States and North Korea regarding North Korea’s pursuit of nuclear weapons, the world is scheduled to end on Wednesday. The nuclear exchange, which will occur at 11:36 AM Eastern Standard Time, will result in the eradication of all life as we know it. The apocalypse will then be followed by karaoke shortly after at Henry Grattan’s, a bar in Brooklyn, New York. “It should be a really great time,” said Barry O’Donovan, owner of Henry Grattan’s.
But the event also has its share of critics. One of them is Brooklynite Kieron Slattery, who said, “So let me get this straight. Not only will we suffer a horrible death, but we have to follow it up with karaoke? How is that fun?” He added, “The last thing I want to hear after I die is Lawrence O’Talloran sing Maroon 5.”
Others, like North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il (who will be largely responsible for ushering in the apocalypse) are looking forward to the event. “I think it will be a blast,” he said. “I’m going to sing ‘It’s The End Of The World’ by REM.”
Kim Jong-il also plans on reminding everyone at the event to support their bartenders.
June 25, 2007