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“Chinese Democracy” Set To Hit Stores In 2064

CHINA– Axl Rose, the lead singer of the legendary rock group Guns N Roses, has been making rare public appearances lately, leading many to believe that the long awaited album “Chinese Democracy” might be coming out soon. Rose addressed those rumors yesterday in a press conference in New York. “We’re just putting some finishing touches on the album,” he said, “But I promise that it will be out by January of 2064.” Others, however, are skeptical. “If it’s already taken this long, I don’t think it will ever come out,” said Rich Svich, 31, of Long Island. “Besides, no one born after 1982 will even care.” Jackson Valens, 33, of Manhattan, agrees with Svich, saying, “By the time Chinese Democracy comes out, pretty much every Guns N Roses fan is going to be dead anyway, so what’s the point?” This didn’t seem to be a major concern for Axl Rose, who will be 102 years old when the album is released: “Not only will I still be alive in 2064, but I’ll feel great! Because when you’re high you never, ever wanna come down. So down. So down. So dowwwwwwwwn!”



June 9, 2006


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