1) Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and he only has five weeks left to live. Good! If you’re last name is Swayze, and you don’t have enough of a sense of humor to marry someone named Daisy, then you deserve to die! Daisy Swayze.
2) Have you ever noticed that there has never been a suicide bomber who was fat? I wonder why. Don’t they have “loose fitting” suicide vests? I mean, if an Islamic fundamentalist is overweight, wouldn’t that serve as an incentive to lose a few pounds? “No thank you, Mahmoud. I would love to have a second helping of your delicious birthday cake, but the blood of the non-believers must be spilled.”
3) Also, I think it would be interesting if a suicide bomber turned out to be a cannibal. Can you imagine how confusing it would be for the cops once they discover that there are extra body parts that don’t even belong to any of the victims?
By the way, I’m still single.
March 11, 2008