While watching a murder trial on TV (either real or fictional), do you ever stop and think about how, if you were the defendant and you were found guilty, you would escape from the courtroom right after they announce the verdict? You do, don’t you? No matter who you are, you always convince yourself that you would be able to get past the court bailiffs. Even if you’re 4 “2” and the bailiffs are 6″5,” you’re absolutely convinced that if you were in that situation, you would be able to get past them. You know that you can’t do it by brute force alone, so you plan on sticking one leg out really far while crouching down (which will make one of the bailiffs bend really low), and then doing an extremely athletic spin move, which will result in you pushing the other bailiff (who is only slightly off-balance) into the other bailiff. The first bailiff will definitely fall down, but the second one might be able to keep his balance. It won’t matter though, because by then, you’ll have enough room to run past him. Yet, oddly enough, the fantasy always ends there, doesn’t it? You never stop to think about what you would do once you got out of the courtroom. I don’t know why. That information would probably come in handy, right? It’s probably because, once you get outside of the courtroom, you know that so much is beyond your control. But one thing’s for certain: those fucking bailiffs aren’t going to stop you!
You do think about this…don’t you?
November 19, 2005