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Fuck You, You Fucking Superstitious Fucktards!

 

 

The National Committee To Boycott Life Insurance Salesmen does not exist. But if it did exist, and if they were to have a meeting, the last thing I would ever do is stand outside of their building and try to sell them life insurance. To me, it seems a bit counterproductive. That’s because I have the ability to reason and process information accordingly, skills that religious people don’t seem to have. This was demonstrated last Friday, when I went to the Angelika Theater and saw Bill Maher’s masterpiece, Religulous. As I was leaving the theater, I noticed that the Jesus buffs had set up a table and were handing out pamphlets. Granted, these people are fucking stupid and they have a hard time processing information, but let’s get right down to their true motives–they were doing what desperate, superstitious people do best–they were trying to annoy us. Of course, if you tell them that, their response would be something along the lines of, “No, I’m not. I’m just trying to spread the word of Christ.” Oh really? You just happened to be spreading the word of Christ right outside of a movie theater that’s showing a film about atheism, huh? What a coincidence! Isn’t one of the ten commandments ‘Thou Shall Not Lie?’ Apparently not.

A few years ago, I went to George Carlin’s book signing at the Barnes & Noble in Union Square. It was a signing for his book When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? On the cover, there was a recreation of The Last Supper, but George Carlin was included in the painting, holding a knife and fork. Right after the signing, I went to a bar to return a DVD that I borrowed from a friend. Some guy who was sitting at the bar saw my book and, with a look of annoyance, said, “I read that book.” He then paused for a second and said, “Matthew 6:3. It will keep you honest.” I responded, “Oh really? Well, maybe you need to read it again, because this book literally came out less than an hour ago.”

That story tells you everything you’ll ever need to know about religious people.

Instead of helping the poor or fighting genocide (things that “Christ” would do), the simpletons outside of the Angelika were trying to push their caveman beliefs upon people who have actually read books other than the Bible. But it’s interesting to note that atheists and agnostics never stand outside of churches/temples/synagogues and hand out copies of The God Delusion, or God Is Not Great. That’s because, like I mentioned earlier, any time you encounter a religious person who is trying to “save” you, it’s nothing more than an attempt on their part to try to annoy you.

 

 

October 11, 2008

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