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Bono Mistakes Toby Maguire For Starving African

NEW YORK CITY– Marvel comics announced on Friday that Spiderman will be turned into a Broadway musical. U2 front man Bono, along with guitarist The Edge, will write the songs and lyrics. But according to David Maisel, chairman of Marvel Studios, the only way that he was able to convince Bono to sign on to the project was to convince him that Tobey Maguire is a starving African. “Unless he thinks that he’s taking part in a humanitarian effort, we knew that Bono wouldn’t see this project as something that’s worthy of his time,” said Maisel. “Therefore, we ordered Tobey Maguire to lose sixty pounds.”

Giving new meaning to the term “starving artist,” Maguire, 31, now weighs in at ninety-seven pounds. “Once every two or three days, I eat a bowl of rice,” said the emaciated actor. “I don’t care. Sometimes you have to suffer for your art.”

No word has yet been given as to when Spiderman: The Musical will premiere on Broadway.



April, 21, 2007


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