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“Papercut” By Linkin Park Voted Best Song To Ever Be Recorded About Injuries Involving Stationary

LOS ANGELES– Rock magazine Blender has voted Linkin Park’s “Papercut” to be the best song ever recorded about injuries involving stationary. The list of one-hundred songs will be published in Blender’s April issue. The coveted honor was bestowed upon the band during a press conference on Thursday. “If you listen to enough music, you eventually realize that there have been a countless number of songs written about injuries involving stationary,” said Harry O’Reilly, editor of Blender. “But none stand out as much as Papercut by Linkin Park. With its sharp tone and angry lyrics, the band does a great job in conveying how painful it is to receive a paper cut.”

But not everyone agrees with O’Reilly. One of those people is Tommy London, leader of the rock band The Dirty Pearls, whose song “Kill You With A Stapler” wasn’t even included in the list. “The lyrics of Papercut have nothing at all to do with stationary,” complained London, “so I have no idea why it’s even on the list.”

When asked why “Kill You With a Stapler” wasn’t included on the list, O’Reilly responded by saying, “The lyrics were far too controversial. I’ll kill you with a stapler/ It will really fucking hurt/ You’ll get buried in the ground/ And covered up with dirt…I’m sorry, but no one wants to hear songs like that.”

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One comment on ““Papercut” By Linkin Park Voted Best Song To Ever Be Recorded About Injuries Involving Stationary

  1. Reblogged this on Linkin Park Fan Corner and commented:
    So awesome! :’D

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