Leave a comment

Foul Mouthed Child Loves Taste Of Soap; Parents Puzzled On How To Discipline

SAUSALITO, CA– Last week, ten-year-old Henry Slanto called his seven-year-old sister, Katie, an asshole, leading Henry’s mother, Rebecca Slanto, to “wash his mouth out with soap.” Much to her surprise, Henry enjoyed the taste of soap, leaving Rebecca confused on how to discipline him. “About ten minutes after I punished him, he was in the bathroom again, sucking on a bar of soap,” said Rebecca. “I thought he was just being passive aggressive. It wasn’t until the next day, when I once again saw him sucking on a bar of soap, that I realized that he actually enjoys the taste.”

Since then, Rebecca has made great efforts to hide bars of soap from her son, but she says that her efforts have been in vain. “No matter where I hide them, he somehow seems to find them,” she said. “Not only that, but whenever I hide them really well and he seems stumped, he intentionally swears at his sister.” As an example, Rebecca mentioned that on Thursday, Henry had said to Katie, “Get out of my room, bitch!”

Rebecca isn’t the only one who’s concerned about Henry’s addiction to soap. Henry’s father, Paul Slanto, said, “I don’t know if soap is bad for him, but it can’t be good. I mean, as far as I know, soap has no nutritional value.” He added, “And just to scare him, I’ve told him that one of the ingredients in soap, titanium dioxide, is toxic. I don’t know if it really is. Apparently, it’s not since Henry appears to be fine, but I tell him that anyway.”

What does the foul-mouthed ten-year-old have to say about his father’s warnings? “He’s full of shit,” said Henry. “He acts like he’s some sort of fucking doctor or something. He’s a plumber. The only time I’ll ask him for advice is when the fucking toilet is clogged up, and then he’ll get down on his knees and fix it, revealing his fucking ass crack.”

Henry said that he enjoys several different brands of soap. But when he was asked to pick his favorite, he responded by saying, “Dial, motherfucker.”

June 8, 2004

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: